


Uhh, I think some of those are mine...

by faeryn



Series: Random Prompts Collection [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas has a cat, Cas' cat steals underwear, Dean in Panties, EVERYONE IS COMFORTABLE IN THEIR SEXUALITY BECAUSE I SAY SO, Fluff, M/M, Tipsy Cas, all cats are beautiful, of the romantic and feline kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6386170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faeryn/pseuds/faeryn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Cas discovers a nest of underwear that his cat has been stealing and hiding in his laundry room, and makes a post to discover the owner(s) of said underwear in order to return them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uhh, I think some of those are mine...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cuddle_me_carl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddle_me_carl/gifts).



> I just screenshotted a load of prompts off Tumblr, and this seemed like as good a place as any to start!

**"Found: A selection of men's and women's underwear."**

_Actually, not so much 'found' as 'my cat steals things and hides them behind my dryer so I don't realise until it breaks and I have to pull it out to find out what's wrong.'_

_Anyway... My feline companion appears to have been stealing other people's laundry and I have recently found it. I have laundered all of the pieces (she has been sleeping on them) and would like to return them to their rightful owner/s._

_Please see the images below. If you recognise any of these items, or if you have lost any undergarments in the last six months or so (which is how long my dryer has been in situ), please contact me._

_< Pictures Attached>_

 

Dean was flipping through random Craigslist ads on his phone while he waited for Sam to finish up with a client, when a weird listing caught his eye. Stolen underwear? By a cat? Is this for real? He scanned the images - damn the cat had been busy - mostly out of morbid curiosity, when a flash of teal satin drew his attention and his face flushed red. Looking closer, he realised that there were probably around fifteen pairs of underwear he had thought he'd lost at the laundromat that could quite possibly have been stolen by this... cat. At least he hoped it was the cat and not some creeper. But then, did creepers usually steal men's underwear and then try to return them? He could understand the panties, but... 

The door to Sam's office opened and startled Dean out of his close examination of the advert and he hurried to lock his phone and shove it in his pocket, hoping he didn't look too guilty in the process. His little brother was far too perceptive for his own good, damn lawyer.

"Hey Dean, sorry to keep you waiting! Are you ready to go?" Sam stood there in all his six foot four of puppylike enthusiasm, the look on his face apparently oblivious, but Dean remained sceptical. 

They headed out on their weekly lunch together, neither of them having a great deal of time these days with Sam a big shot lawyer and Dean project managing about half a dozen new builds across the city, but they made the effort to get together once a week for lunch to catch up, even if they were able to hang out on the rare occasion they were both free. 

Dean was unusually preoccupied throughout lunch, but Sam was happy to yammer away about his caseload and how things were going with his new girlfriend, Eileen. So much so that he didn't seem to even notice Dean's lack of input until they were about to leave.

"Hey man, are you okay? You've hardly said anything," Sam said as they paid the check and headed out the door. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, just listening to you," Dean hedged, clapping Sam on the back with a smile. "Same time next week?" 

They parted with a brief, very manly, hug, and Dean found himself sat in his car tapping the wheel as thoughts of the Craigslist ad ran around in his head like a squirrel on speed. After a little internal deliberation, during which Dean decided that he actually didn't need to go back to work right away and that he could largely do what he did from home if it came to it, he brought up the ad on his phone again, and called the number listed.

"Hello?" A bored-sounding woman answered the phone and Dean felt relief flood through him. Probably not a creeper then.

"Ah, uh, hi. I'm calling about the Craigslist ad? I think your cat stole some of my, um, underwear," Dean replied, feeling all kinds of awkward about how he was going to explain to this woman that yes, some of those panties belonged to him. Maybe he could say they were his girlfriend's? But what if she was hot? It was a real dilemma. 

"Oh you want to speak to Clarence, I don't even live here. CLARENCE!" She yelled, barely turning away from the phone and almost deafening Dean. 

"Hello?" This time the voice was deep and masculine, the voice of a man who probably chewed gravel as a hobby, and Dean felt a shiver run through him. Damn, what if  _he_ was hot? This wasn't helping the dilemma. 

"Hi, like I said to the lady, I'm calling about the ad about your cat's kleptomania?" Dean tried for less 'nervous teenager' this time, he thought he managed it okay.

"Ah! Thank you so much for calling, I wasn't sure anyone would respond. Would you be able to come over some time to check if anything Honeybee stole belongs to you?" 

Honeybee. The cat's name was  _Honeybee_. Dean rolled his eyes at the ridiculous name but didn't let any of his amusement into his voice as he responded in the affirmative and scribbled down an address just two blocks over from his own home. With a promise to be there in half an hour, Dean hung up and gunned it out of the parking lot, just to hear Baby roar. 

~

Half an hour later Dean was pulling up outside a modest little duplex in the only slightly less affluent part of his neighborhood. He lived over in the nicer part, but only because Sam had insisted that since he was pulling in good money now he could - and should - live somewhere with a low crime rate and quiet neighbors. Given the choice, Dean wouldn't have bothered spending the extra cash, but Sam had done all the work and had actually managed to get him a really good price so he couldn't complain. 

Knocking on the door, he was again briefly hit by a flash of anxiety at how he was going to claim the teal satin panties as his own, before the door opened and a six foot, smoking hot dude was beaming at him. 

"Dean?" The man asked, holding out his hand for Dean to shake. 

"Hey, Castiel was it?" Dean answered, taking the offered hand and shaking it firmly. 

"Yes, please come in. I have everything ready for your perusal, and a very sullen cat who would like to say she's so very sorry," Castiel's eyes twinkled as he smiled, stepping back to let Dean in. 

Accepting Castiel's offer of tea, Dean settled down on the couch and eyed the bags of underwear sitting on the coffee table. When Castiel returned with the tea, they sat with their cups and just chatted for a while, mostly talking about work and the anarchistic tendencies of cats. He learned that Castiel was a History teacher at the local high school, and that he volunteered at the Bee Sanctuary on the outskirts of town - hence his cat's unusual name. When their tea was finally finished, Cas - who had gracefully allowed Dean to use a nickname since Castiel was such a mouthful - got the bags of underwear out to let Dean rummage through and then politely excused himself with some poor excuse. 

Wow. This cat liked Dean's panties alright. There were only two pairs of his boxers in the whole lot, but no less than twelve pairs of panties. Explaining that was going to be... awkward. Sure, out of the fifty or so pairs altogether that probably wasn't  _that_ many, but it was still going to seem weird for Dean to be taking away with him a big pile of panties instead of the many, many pairs of men's underwear. In fact, it looked like the majority of the panties that had been stolen belonged to Dean. Interesting...

Cas returned as Dean was putting all the items back in the bags and to his credit, didn't even bat an eyelid at the multicolored assortment of satin and lace Dean was trying not to seem embarrassed about. 

"Well that does explain a lot," Cas said inexplicably as Dean stuffed the underwear into another bag that Cas offered him for the purpose.

"What explains what?" He had to ask, he  _had_ to ask. He couldn't help himself.

"Well, Honeybee only usually steals men's underwear, so when I found all those panties I was a little confused to say the least." Cas said by way of explanation.

"Ah, well, you see... Wait,  _usually_?" Dean raised an eyebrow as Cas' face colored slightly.

"This may not be the first time I have discovered her penchant for underwear thievery," Cas said, not meeting Dean's eyes. "In fact, before I moved here she stole so many pairs of underwear that I simply set up a washing line in my front yard and left a sign saying for people to take them if they belonged to them. I figured even if some got stolen, those people probably needed the underwear, and most everything got rehomed sooner or later..." 

"You really do have a kitty kelpto on your hands Cas," Dean laughed. 

"I know, I really don't know what to do about it," Cas sighed, glaring at the Calico in question, who simply stared back at him with a level 100 Zen Gaze of Zero Fucks Given. 

"Don't sweat it man, it's not your fault." Dean gripped Cas' shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring way and the other man managed to chuckle ruefully at him. 

Unfortunately, Dean's phone picked that exact moment to ring and he realised he had been gone from work for two hours. With a quick apology, he grabbed his bag of pilfered panties and left with instructions for Cas to call him if he found any more questionable underwear. 

~

A week went by, then two, then three, and Dean began to feel dejected. He had thought he and Cas had hit it off, maybe that they could start a friendship if nothing else, but he figured the panty thing must have weirded Cas out but he was too polite to say anything at the time, and that was why he hadn't called or texted. So when he phone rang as he was enjoying a rare lazy Saturday in front of the TV, he was surprised to see Castiel's name flashing on the screen. 

"Hey Cas," he answered, shoving down the jittery feeling inside him at this sudden contact.

"Hello Dean," Cas said, and his voice was everything Dean remembered and more. "You said to call you if Honeybee stole any more underwear, but she seems to have either stopped entirely or is hiding them very well just to spite me," Cas babbled, "but I wanted to call you, so I finally decided to just stop waiting and do it. I... may have let Meg talk me into drinking a few shots with her to get the courage to do so." He finally trailed off, and Dean's heart soared as he heard Cas' earnest words.

"Cas, man, you should have just called me. Or sent a text. Or I should have called you. We're a mess. Dude it's great to hear from you.  _So_ great." Dean hadn't even been drinking but he felt positively giddy, his mouth running away with him. 

"That's great, good, great! Um. I hope this isn't too forward, but would you go out with me? I mean, may I take you to dinner?" 

"I'd love to go out with you Cas," Dean beamed down the phone, now leaning forward on the couch and feeling more like a teenager making plans for prom than the thirty-something he actually was, "you just say when and where and I'll be there."

"How about the Roadhouse?" Dean bit his lip to keep from making a noise of delight that Cas hadn't picked some upmarket place - he never fit in at fancy restaurants, even if he could dress the part and afford to pay the ridiculous cost of those tiny meals. "Maybe tomorrow night? Around seven?" 

"Sounds perfect Cas," Dean scribbled it down on the back of an envelope so he wouldn't forget.

"Oh and Dean?" Cas' voice had turned sly and mischievous, and Dean wondered what was coming next.

"Yeah Cas?" 

"Would you wear those teal satin panties?" 

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly if my cats were outdoor cats I could see them doing this kind of shit... I had to end it here before it became too much and I ended up not finishing it at all, hahaha *shot* 
> 
> Written directly into AO3 at 1:30am so all errors are my own, feel free to point them out xD
> 
> As always you can find me on my [fandom tumblr](http://faeryn.tumblr.com) or on my very quiet [writing tumblr](http://faerynfic.tumblr.com)
> 
> I live for kudos and comments... and I do eventually reply to all of them, just sometimes months after the fact...


End file.
